Hi Friends,
An attitude of gratitude is probably one of the most powerful mentalities we can foster that will automatically grant us the Abundant Life our hearts long to have, enjoy and share. Learning to be thankful to God for every person He places in our path is the only way to transform our minds from MMI-centered to God and others focused. Listen to this practical verse:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Ro 12:18 NIV
Controlling self. The Fruit of the Spirit grants us the virtue of self-control. Not others control or circumstance control, but SELF-control. This means, when we have conflicts with others because they will come, we must choose to do the righteous thing, whether the other person does or not. “As far as it depends” on us, means we are to do all we can to reconcile with that other person, but if they do not respond, we still stay at peace. For example, if we have offended them, then we must apologize, and that means sincerely and without excuse, by the way. We might have to offer recompense, paying them back for any damage that may have occurred. Or we might have to make a public declaration of our mistake. Whatever is the right thing to do, we must do it. That is our part. But even after doing all we can to right our wrong, if the other person still refuses to forgive us? Well, then we must receive God’s peace for ourselves, praying them into God’s hands, so He can prompt them to do the right thing also. We never lose our peace and try to force the other person to forgive, but we let them, and the situation go, and we move forward with a tranquil heart. I stress this because, way too many of us hold on to the guilt of our errors and become a captive to that other person until they choose to forgive…if they ever do. We do not live in peace with them because we feel like the situation has never been resolved. But this beautiful verse above reminds us that we cannot control the other person, just ourselves…and that only with the help of the Holy Spirit. When we control ourselves, we can restore a grateful heart towards God for that person in our lives, whether they ever pardon us or not. Again, as far as it depends on us, we are at peace with the other person, then we keep on treating them with love and respect, not to get them to do anything, but simply because we are grateful to God for them.
Controlling self, when the shoe is on the other foot. So what if I changed the example above and made it so that someone else offended us instead? Would that change the level of peace we should have towards the other person? No, of course not. Whether they ever apologize or not, as far as it depends on us, we must forgive them and choose to live at peace with them. The problem is, too many people think that forgiveness means that, what the other person did, is ok. That’s simply not true. Forgiveness does not define the situation or the other person, but it certainly can define us though. Forgiveness means that I am choosing not to hold it against the other person. I am more concerned with being righteous, than being right. There is a huge difference between the two, you know that? Forgiveness talks about my heart, that I have decided to follow Jesus and His pure example, and by doing that, I can remain at peace. This is, after all, what God does for us. He never says that sins are ok. Behold the Cross to see just how vile and humiliating and painful and deadly sin is. Sin is never ok! But what God does do is forgive us, then treat us as if we never sinned. He respects us. He pours His Grace upon us. And He loves us, in spite of all our offenses. We must do the same for others, whether they ever admit the wrong, or not. The truth is, no one is perfect, so sooner or later, whether unintentionally or not, we will either hurt someone else or be hurt by someone else….unless that is, we learn the awesome lesson of forgiveness. When we offend, we quickly ask for forgiveness and make things right. Then peace returns to our heart because we have imitated God’s righteousness. When we are offended, we forgive even before it grows into any resentment or bitterness. Again, peace returns to our heart because we have imitated God’s righteousness. Either way, because we did the right thing in both cases, we can live in peace with everyone.
Learn from everyone. We must understand that, not everyone God places in our lives will be all warm and fuzzy towards us. The truth is we cannot make everyone happy all the time. But we can learn from every interaction! Whether someone hurts us or helps us, there are lessons to glean from every relationship in life. Grasping these teachable moments, and using them to make ourselves a better person, will help us be grateful for the encounter, no matter which way it seems to have gone. We start to look at each person in our lives differently. They become someone we can show the compassion of God towards, instead of an enemy we must fight against. The Lord showed me a long time ago that, the quickest way to get rid of an enemy is to make them your friend. And even if they never return the sentiment, as far as it depends on YOU, you can live at peace with them. Their actions, or inactions, do not control us because we are controlling ourselves. This forgiving heart brings loads of peace which increases our sense of the Abundant Life. Choose to forgive and be thankful because we are the ones who are blessed by it. This has been my experience and my life is filled with a higher level of gratitude towards everyone God places in my path because I choose to forgive. Do you want to remain at peace, no matter what? Then won’t you join me?
Until we meet again, keep lifting your eyes to God, He’s closer than you think.
<>< Peace, Diane
