Dr Chapman talks a lot about what he calls a “love tank,” and it is a great analogy, of course. It is so easy to understand that, if we do not intentionally fill up our gas tank, that car is going nowhere! It is the same with our hearts, my Friends. If we are not intentionally seeking ways to fill each other’s love tanks, then the other person will have nothing to give in return, and that relationship may stall and sputter and go nowhere. This is where bitterness, resentment and those “littles foxes that spoil the vine” come in. (SS 2:15) Sadly, it seems like those little annoying things we each do can become huge barriers in advancing our relationships. I have this whole story about “bread crumbs on the counter” that you can check out in the link below if you’re interested, but it is a good example of how such minor things seem so major, that they can cause all sorts of havoc in a marriage. And, of course, this happens more quickly when we have an empty love tank.
An important point here is that, we are not to seek to fill our own tank. No. We need to love and be loved. This means we must fill the love tanks for those around us, as well as allow others to fill our love tanks. In other words, we are not to be with others to only GET from them. First we are to be with others to GIVE to them. Hopefully they will reciprocate. But as we mentioned last week, even if the other person chooses not to give back, we cannot force them to do so. Love has nothing to do with oppression. This means we do not try to manipulate others to get what we want. That is not love. That is trying to control others. Love controls self, not others. Not sure? Go see Galatians 5:23. God has given us the gift of SELF-control, not others or situations control. So we GIVE, with the Hope of receiving, but we do not demand it. Again, let’s look to the way God loves us to learn this very freeing lesson. Love GIVES to those we claim to love. And if one spouse is doing that, and the other spouse is doing the same, then everyone’s love tanks get filled up, and we will both experience peace and unity and harmony. Let’s go fill someone’s tank today!
Bread Crumbs on the Counter:
Part 1: https://spreadthenewsministries.com/example-of-needing-to-be-trained-up/
Part 2: https://spreadthenewsministries.com/example-of-being-trained-up/
2023’s Got A Minute? Book Club
January: The Bible
February: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman
<>< Peace, Diane
