Next, Dr Chapman talks about Quality Time. This is a big one because I think the word “quality” is often misunderstood or ignored. Just sitting in front of the TV and not, at least speaking to each other, is not quality time. For this love language to be fulfilling to the one who speaks it, there must be connection between the two parties. Dr Chapman emphasizes that this should involve undivided attention. That means the cell phones must be put down… unless you are using them in your talk, of course, like maybe looking up the hours to an event you both want to go to. That’s alright, but the point is this interaction is meant to display to the other person that they are the most important person in the world to you. It is meant to help the other person feel secure in the relationship. That they have true value and are worthy of your time and attention. Time continues to be our number one most valuable asset, since none of us really know how much Time we have. So when we choose to speak this language to those who crave it, we are giving them all of who we are: heart, soul and physical presence.
I love what Dr Chapman mentions about how, when we spend this Quality Time with our spouse, or friend, etc, we are filling their love tank, but also providing memories from which they can draw from in the years ahead. (p69) When we speak this lovely language, we are not only blessing the one we love now, but also in the future as they remember the occasion fondly. I might add to go the next step and maybe create a tangible memory that will link the experience for the loved one. Something as simple as picking a flower as you walk through a park, then pressing it in a book. Or even taking silly pictures as you enjoy a beach day. Nothing about this Quality Time has to cost you any money, but it should involve freely and willingly spending this very valuable time with the one you love. So no forcing each other into this! It must come from the heart of the giver, or it will not be the blessing it should be. This means the recipient must not demand anything, but the giver should choose to do something just because they are seeking to give love.
2023’s Got A Minute? Book Club
January: The Bible
February: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman
<>< Peace, Diane
