Tough love IS Love. Tough love stands by the other person and encourages them that they CAN carry their own load. But if they still refuse? Then tough love let’s them learn the hard way…is this not what God did in the Garden of Eden? Is it not what He still does for you and me today?
This is the image God gave me of His Love: it is not a relay race, where we come to Him and receive whatever it is we need at that moment, but then run off by ourselves to go the next leg of the race on our own. NO, that’s NOT the Christian walk! His Love is more like a three-legged race, where we are tied to God and learn to walk each step with Him, instead of on our own. If we try to run ahead of His Plan, thinking we can move faster than He wants us to, we will fall…but His Love will lift us up, clean us off and then we can continue to walk with Him. If we decide to lag behind for any reason, like we get complacent or lazy, we will fall…but His Love will lift us up, clean us off and then we can continue to walk with Him once more. This is Love and it is how we must learn to love one another too.
Yes, we are to walk together, side by side, and help each other with the things that we cannot do alone. But if someone chooses not to fulfill their responsibility in this relationship, or if they decide to pursue selfish ambitions and leave you behind, then we must stand up and say something or the relationship will become unhealthy and we will become a doormat.
We cannot stop them from making poor choices because we cannot and should not, control them. That’s not a healthy relationship either! But we can choose to continue to help them without crossing this line into enabling. We can continue to encourage and empower one another so that we can truly have a healthy relationship…this is what we were created for, mutually beneficial, healthy and balanced relationships, first with God, then with one another.
Don’t allow yourself to become a doormat. Check your Pride first and learn to, lovingly, empower others in your life.
<>< Peace, Diane
