As I mentioned yesterday, the activity is not the most vital part of this Quality Time. It is the emotional bond that is being deepened as we give this time to the one we are loving, that is the key. Again, with our spouse they need to know that they are still the #1 person in our life. This is not an occasion to scroll through your emails, or be so absorbed by a football game on the BoobTube that you pay no mind to the one sitting right there next to you. Now if you both enjoy a game and are excited about it together, that’s great, so long as you are both together in whatever is going on. This means each of you has your heart, soul and body all in on becoming closer and closer in the relationship. But if one spouse enjoys one activity which the other does not, then an important point here is that the one speaking this love language will need to freely and willingly go with the other person anyway…and be happy about it because, remember, you are trying to GIVE love to the other person. This is not about you receiving, but giving. Again, I say, Love is not about MMI.
This Quality Time can encompass anything. Here are some quick examples from my own marriage. Some of my favorite Quality Time with my husband, Joe, includes going grocery shopping, if you can imagine. We drive about and talk and share and even walk around holding hands as we shop. It’s just nice to share life with him. Yet my favorite Quality Time though has to be when we go out for our walks. We joke that I only want to walk with him because I get to hold his hand. Cute and silly, yes, but for me, incredibly bonding and fulfilling too!
From the simple just walking around holding hands to the more extensive flying to some island for a quick getaway, Quality Time is high on both Joe and my love language list, so it is simpler for us to “speak” love to one another in this way. It is when two people do not speak the same language that will require more commitment and humble sacrifice. But both of these, commitment and humility, are a huge part of having and enjoying healthy relationships. So choose to go out today and make a love offering to someone who speaks a different love language than you do, and see how it blesses both them and you!
2023’s Got A Minute? Book Club
January: The Bible
February: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman
<>< Peace, Diane
