Some of you may not know my story…this will be a quick witness: I had always believed in God, but He was up there, in Heaven somewhere and didn’t really have too much to do with “my life” here on earth. Oh I prayed to Him, but then went about my own thing …I knew where He was if I “needed” Him, but pretty much ran my own life, leaning on my own understanding.
My life was the American Dream: a wonderful husband, two beautiful children, a lovely home, a reputable career, vacations and more stuff than I knew what to do with…and yet, I was miserable. The darkness of depression was my constant companion, and so, I did not really appreciate the life God had given me. There was always a hole, that no one and nothing could fill for long. Then I began to pray this strange prayer, “Lord help me be a good mom to my children, to raise them physically, mentally and spiritually, so they will be good people. Amen.” I had no idea what I was praying….
Soon after, at the age of five, my daughter, Rebecca, began getting headaches that increased with intensity and frequency, so we ran to the doctors. Several weeks and tests later, she was diagnosed with brain cancer and the prognosis was not good. What could be a more heartbreaking thing for a parent, right? As a result, I began to seek God with all I had, because we needed a miracle!
Two months later, after starting radiation and chemotherapy, Beckie had a major crisis and fell into a coma. You see, the cancer was not enough to get me to surrender…as a pharmacist, “I knew” there were still procedures and medications that would save my Baby Girl. But here, when she fell into this first comatose state, when the doctors all threw up their hands in surrender to the circumstance and gave up, telling me they did all they could do, now it was up to her? When I had nothing else, I found everything I could ever need and want! My knees hit the floor, my hands lifted to God in surrender, and my Savior and Lord Jesus entered my broken heart. And since Beckie went Home to be with our Lord, Jesus is the one who has held me, strengthened me, guided me and continues to love me, despite “me.” I still know He is Good, even when life is not. I still know He has a good plan for my life here, before I get to be with Him and my Angel Pie forevermore in Paradise.
I share my story with you to help you understand that suffering is what leads us to God and gives us the ability to obey Him. Before Christ, I could not obey, and suffering is all I had. After Christ, I could choose to obey…but when I choose not too, because I am still immature or just being stubborn…suffering reminds me WHO I am because of Whose I am, and I return to Him and choose to obey. My peace and joy return and I have the sense of righteousness within me. Obey or disobey, this is still our choices today. I point once again to Dt 30:19…know what and why you believe, my Friends, then even if you don’t understand, even if you don’t like it, choose to obey, and true blessings will follow. Perhaps not earthly things like healing when you desperately want it, but true blessings like love, peace, joy, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control (Gal 5:22-23) will follow, and your life will be abundant, no matter what happens.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” That’s Jesus speaking to us through John 16:33. We live in a corrupted world, filled with broken people and a real enemy that hates us…suffering will come, in one shape or other to every human. It is what should unite us, not divide us. Yes, suffering will come, yet I would rather obey and suffer for it, then disobey and suffer because of it. After all, as Jesus says in the verse I just quoted, this Game of Destruction has already been overcome…we will wrap it up tomorrow.
<>< Peace, Diane
