So let’s begin with the first love language that Dr Chapman discusses: Words of Affirmation. To affirm simply means to offer someone our support and encouragement. In a world that can often leave us discouraged and deflated, we all need someone to speak uplifting truth into our lives. These words are not some false and flattering nonsense just to get something we want from the other person. No! These words must be positive traits that we see in the person we are seeking to love. They must be based on real actions the other person did that we appreciate and want them to know we appreciate it. Put simply, these words must be truthful. Love always and only speaks truth in love and grace. While there are times to gently correct someone who may be acting in ways that are not godly, here we are talking about focusing on the good things within the person, as well as the wonderful things they have done, and are doing. Way too many times we are quick to acknowledge the wrong, but hesitate in proclaiming the good. To fill this love tank, we must purposely encourage the one who speaks this language.
You see, while no person, other than God, is perfect, it is also true that no one only does bad, and never any good. With this love language, we are looking to focus on, to center only in, the good in the other person. We are to seek to build up the other person, not tear them down. We say words that show we appreciate having them in our lives. We give sincere compliments when we take note of the good. And as he says, “thank you’s” go a long way in creating healthy relationships. This is good for us as well. It reminds us not to take anyone for granted. And when it comes to marriage, here’s a great piece of wisdom from Dr Chapman: “… verbal compliments are far greater motivators than nagging words.” (p39)
Tomorrow let’s discuss some practical applications of this wonderful love language…but leave me a comment if you ever offered this gift to someone, and it changed the relationship for good.
2023’s Got A Minute? Book Club
January: The Bible
February: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman
<>< Peace, Diane
