Hi Friends,
Since our God is a God of Peace, there always exists a flow to how things work in every relationship, so that peace can be had and maintained by all, no matter what challenge the relationship encounters. Listen to God’s Order:
“This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands.” 1Pe 3:5 NLT
Our God is a God of Order. For a woman to accept the authority of her husband is to encourage him to fulfill his duty as the leader in this most sacred union. This does NOT mean he does not listen to her counsel. This does NOT mean he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, with no regard to his wife. This does NOT mean one is the master, while the other is the slave. But it does mean there is an order to how a marriage is supposed to function in a healthy way, where both husband and wife, are safe, secure and satisfied in this most sacred union. Again, let me EMPHASIZE this, so there is no misunderstanding about what God desires of both husband and wife. As we dig into what God’s Word has to say about who leads in a marriage, we must establish this most important Biblical truth: this is not a matter of importance. This is not a matter of value. This is not a matter of significance. But this is a matter of order.
In God’s eyes, all His children are equal. God’s Word is clear that He values each human being the same. I point us to Gal 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Men do not have a higher worth than women, but they are supposed to have a position of leadership in a marriage. I love how Joyce Meyer puts it, she says only one person can be in the driver’s seat. My Friends, according to God’s Word, that supposed to be the man. It is our honor and privilege to help our men reach this leadership position, but we cannot do this if we are trying to take the wheel! We will talk more about this next week. For now, please, PLEASE understand this is God organizing our marriage so everyone knows their part to play, so that the marriage can go smoothly…or as smoothly as human possible, anyway. Order in any relationship is a must if both parties are going to equally benefit from the relationship. If one is trying to do the part of the other, then someone is not going to feel fulfilled because they are not able to do their part. Did you get that? Imagine if you are directing a movie and one actor decides he is going to play the leading role, while the leading actor is trying to play it?! See what I mean? Chaos is the result and it is the same issue here. Men are to lead the marriage with the wife’s help.
Order is God’s Plan. Chaos is the enemy’s desire. We see this back in the Garden of Eden, when things went astray from God’s Holy intentions, when neither Adam nor Eve played their assigned part in their relationship. Before Eve decided to eat the fruit, she should have consulted with her husband. The Bible says Adam was with her when she was speaking to the serpent, so as the leader he should have stopped her from eating the fruit. Moreover, before Adam ate the fruit his wife gave him, he should have consulted God. Eve listened to the false authority of the serpent and was deceived. Adam followed Eve instead of following God. And the order of marriage was turned upside down, leading to The Downfall of all humanity! The basic building block of society is the marriage. If there is disorder in this most sacred union, then there will be disorder in all of society. When women try to be the leader in the home usurping the husband’s authority, problems arise.
Check out the awesome picture on the side that a friend sent me. It shows the order and role of each member in a family so that everyone feels complete. Also what God showed me is that, if we turn this picture upside down, everyone drowns and Christ gets no honor! I will say it again: this is NOT a topic of worth, value, significance, or importance. This is an important matter of order. If you want a successful marriage, then each spouse must learn their role and live it in humility towards the other spouse. This is not one ruling over the other. This is both wanting to honor God and love one another, so that everyone is filled with peace and joy.
Listen my Sisters, I know this is difficult, but God does not promise us a life of ease. God promises He will help us do whatever it is we must do to achieve the Abundant Life. Listen my Brothers, this does not grant you the power to reign over your wife with fear and force. This is not what God is saying at all! The key is for both, husband and wife to submit to one another. Read Ephesians 5:21-33, then when you’re done, read it again! I will repeat an important point I made last week, marriage is supposed to be symbolic for the relationship between God and The Church. Jesus is our Groom, we are His Bride. If women cannot learn to be under the authority of a human husband, how can we submit to God? If men cannot learn to love his wife the way Jesus loves His Bride, then how can he follow Christ? No one is saying this is easy…and it is certainly NOT culturally accepted anymore, in a world that attempts to emasculate men at every turn. But my Friends, we do not belong to this fallen, corrupt world. We are children of God, who are imperfect yes, but whose hearts desire to follow God’s Plan, God’s Order…and with His help, we can! This continues to be my experience. Do I follow smoothly…Lord knows not yet! But every time I fall, I reach up to God and He helps me try again. And when things are going smoothly? Wow how fulfilling my marriage is and how much more amazing my life is too! Want that? Then won’t you join me?
Until we meet again, keep lifting your eyes to God, He’s closer than you think.
<>< Peace, Diane
