God is a loving God who desires for us to sense pleasure in everything we do in life, including making love with our spouse. But let’s be honest for a second here, do we humans consistently do things if there is nothing enjoyable in it for us? No, God not only wanted us to be pleased, but He made sex pleasurable so that humans would continue to make more humans. God knows who He created, if it wasn’t pleasurable, humanity just might have ended with Cain! All kidding aside, God is a generous God, so He designed sex to give us pleasure, not only physically, but soulfully and spiritually too. When we love our spouse, and give each other ALL of who we are, we sense more of that completeness of the Abundant Life.
Making love can, and should, be mutually pleasing. When the husband is focused on bringing pleasure to the wife, and the wife to the husband, why wouldn’t it work out just the way God designed it to work, right? But here is the sad truth: what God means for good and beauty, the enemy way too often turns into evil and ugly. When sex becomes focused only on one’s personal, physical pleasure, then distortions quickly come. This is why vile things like prostitution, sex trafficking, pornography and even extramarital affairs happen. Stop and pray to God for those caught up in these awful, demeaning institutions. Many are victims who feel like they have no choice, and the lies that they have no value, only perpetuate their hopelessness. We must let our hearts break for the things that break God’s heart…pray for these broken and lonely souls.
Yet here we are talking about marriage, so when sex becomes all about MMI, then it loses its original objective, to make the man and woman fully one. When sex becomes only about the individual’s pleasure, it causes divisions instead of the deepest of unions. This should not be, my Friends.
If you are married, please don’t be embarrassed to speak about this most sacred and lovely part of the marriage. While this is not the most important part of your relationship, it is meant to bring you both closer and closer together, as you become one, so it is important to talk about it. But if one, or both, are not being pleased, and they are not sharing this lack, then trouble could be brewing in the marriage. Remember sex is meant to be lovely, holy and sacred. Communication is key in any healthy relationship, certainly we should feel safe to be open to discuss things with our spouse about this private topic, shouldn’t we? Trust God and make the effort, it is well worth the risk.
<>< Peace, Diane
