Dr Chapman advises that we must examine stereotypes with this love language. Acts of Service may not fall in line with the woman takes care of the house and children, while the man takes care of the outdoors and finances. We must learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses and fill in the gap for one another. For instance, I am the nerd in the marriage so working the budget numbers and paying bills and so on, actually is something I enjoy doing. While my husband is an excellent cook and seems to be able to whip up delicious meals out of thin air. On the other hand, Joe has a mechanical mind and so maintaining our cars and home are his forte, so I leave that to him. While I am certainly no domestic diva, I don’t mind handling the laundry and cleaning around the house. Yet there are many times when I just need a hand with the kitchen, which seems to give birth to dirty dishes, every hour on the hour! Am I the only one?? And so as an Act of Service, Joe is so kind to help me out. Every newlywed couple, and some who have been married for a while too, should sit down and hammer all these “chore assignments” out before problems begin. One spouse should not assume that the other will do what their parents might have done, for example. Each marriage is unique since it is made up of unique individuals, so talk it all out…before there is any chance for the shouting to begin!
This love language seems pretty self explanatory, just help each other out, but here’s an important point I want to make: if you ask your spouse to help and he/she does not do “it” exactly the way you do it, you better NOT start a fight over that! The reality is there is often no “right way” of doing the things you want done. We are all different and will get the job done according to our own manner. Ask yourself: Do I want the task done or do I want it done YOUR way? If it is the latter, then you need to do it yourself. Acts of Service which are freely and willingly done are an excellent opportunity to simply affirm the other person with a big, heartfelt, “Thank You!” and let it end there.
2023’s Got A Minute? Book Club
January: The Bible
February: “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman
<>< Peace, Diane
