Hi Friends,
In addition to learning from our Holy Father so we can teach those precious lessons to our children, like we talked about last week, we can all learn strategies for parenting from each other as well. Listen to these important verses:
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” Gal 6:2-5 NIV
Carrying each other’s burdens is a fulfillment of God’s Love. I never want to leave anyone out as I share the tips God has shown me, so before we get to them, let me spend a moment talking about the Single Parents out there. While many households do have both a Dad and a Mom to share the blessed load of bringing up their children, of course there are plenty of homes where only one parent must bear the burden. It is challenging enough to raise a child when two parents are in the household, but of course that is not the reality for many other homes. These verses above can be applied to many things, and this includes raising the next generation. There are things each person can, and should, do on their own. These are considered burdens that they can bear, with God’s help of course. Yet there are plenty of things you and I are supposed to be doing to support these cherished individual parents who are operating on overload. It really should take a village to raise the next generation. So whether you are a two parent home, or even more powerful if you do not have children of your own, we can all start to be the hands and feet of Jesus by finding some kind of program where we can come along side these precious unattached Dad’s, and especially Mom’s, so that God’s Kingdom may be real to them, and to us too. This is where the Church should step in, my Friends, to help the Singles by sharing our time, talents and treasures so that they are not alone. Whether we help out by babysitting to relieve the overworked, by doing some chores for the overstressed, or buying groceries for those who might be overextended, those of us who can help them are called to do so. What an honor and privilege to be used by God for such a vital role as this!
Sharing really is caring. One of the simplest things we can offer every parent to help with their load is by sharing our own experiences of what has worked, and what most definitely did not! As we walk beside each other, we do not have to waste crucial time reinventing the wheel. With that in mind, I am happy, and humbled, to share with you 10 tips to keep in mind as we raise, or help others raise, the next generation so that our children will be godly people who will lead this broken world, and not be ruled by it. Below are 10 tips and practical examples of some more lessons we should be teaching our children.
1- Chores at every age: Right from the moment they are able, using age appropriate chores is a great, and simple way to teach our children that life does not revolve around them. Showing them in practical ways that they belong to a group that is so much bigger that MMI, is one of the most important ways to convey life is not about “ME.” With some guidance, even a three year old can learn to put their own toys away in containers we provide for them. There is no reason a tired out parent should have to come to the end of their day and spend more precious time and energy on this task. Some chores should be rewarded, but others should simply be a part of their role in the home.
Practical example: my son, Joshua, had to learn to make his bed every morning as well as get his breakfast ready, by the time he was five, mostly because I was so consumed with taking care of my ill daughter, Rebecca. While I did not set out to teach him this lesson, giving him the knowledge and responsibility, to chip in with the household work has also taught him to have self-worth, because his part in the family is both needed, and very appreciated.
2- Time management: this one goes hand-in-hand with number 1 above, but I think we can all continue to learn it, right? Things like making time to work hard, as well as finding time to play just as hard, is important in having a fulfilling life. You know the saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” but this is because we are fallen children, who can easily live in one extreme or the other. When we teach our children only one side of the equation, life can lose its spice and get stale really quick. So setting limits on what they do and for how long, can help keep their lives balanced and more fruitful.
Practical example: set a timer, and stick with it! This is a discipline for both the child and the parent, right? But it is such a valuable lesson, my Friends. So the moment our children come home from school, start the clock on how long they have to finish their homework. Do not allow it to go on and on and on…but if it does, make sure it cuts into their play time. This will encourage them to start controlling their time better, instead of letting time control them.
3- Cheerful giver: I mentioned this one last week, but let me expand on it a bit more here. God desires us to be generous because when we do, we are imitating Him, and we are learning the vital lesson of gratitude. So we must teach our children to give, not in order to GET, but out of a thankful heart for all they already have.
Practical example: Christmas is a great time to imbed this virtue into their hearts. Whether that means having them spend some of their own funds on buying a gift for someone else in need, because we all know there are plenty of Giving Trees available that time of year, or “regifting” some gently used toys, clothes or any other items that our children have, or even taking some home-baked cookies to a neighbor, remembering others and doing something tangible for them becomes a blessing for everyone involved.
4- Money management: We will get into this deeper in the coming months with the next Ripple, but for now teaching our children to budget their allowance, or later their earned income, helps them to do the three things we all should do with our finances: spend some, invest some and give some.
Practical example: as Joshua grew up, I bought a great “piggy bank” from Crown Ministries that had three compartments. One was to spend right away, another was to save, or invest, for something big he wanted and the last was to give away to others. Of course, you don’t need this helpful gadget, but teaching our children this, the moment we begin giving them some of their own funds, is a lifelong lesson that will always lead to peace and joy.
5- Instill the love of reading, especially the Bible: Not only does reading stimulate our children’s minds, helping them to visualize scenes of what they are reading, but it helps them relate to others and learn from them too. From the womb, we should all be reading to our children. As they grow, we can read with our children. And then, as they grow more, we can listen to them read to us. I cannot stress more emphatically how vital it is to make sure God’s Word is the priority for all of us to read, especially these young minds who will be assaulted with all sorts of agendas in the school system. Teaching them to love everyone, that everyone is equal and that there is no group that is master and another a victim, is both powerful and desperately needed, now more than ever!
Practical example: schools should have “book reports” at every age, but if they don’t, we can, and should, come up with fun ways to do this ourselves. When I was at Beckie’s side in the hospital, Joe would bring Joshua for “a visit” and I would sit with him, right there in the hospital room, and listen to him read to me the stories he chose for his monthly book report homework…so NO excuse parents and helpers of parents! Read with them and be excited about it! This is a wonderful contagious act with which we can infect our children for their good.
6- Respect for elders: again, we need to get everyone involved in raising our youngsters, and there is so much we can learn from the aged wisdom of our Seniors. They can share valuable lessons, from perhaps some sacrifices this generation may have endured, as our babies learn to appreciate their history. So especially if you are blessed to still have them, have your children spend time with Grandpa and Grandma!
Practical example: have your children interview their grandparents, or other Seniors. Have them write out some questions and then record the responses. Our elders will love sharing how they grew up and our children just may learn some awesome lessons they can implement in their own lives.
7- Be a leader, only follow Jesus: learning to be comfortable in who you are is a major lesson we can pass down to our children. While we must have respect for authority, no one but Jesus has the right to tell our children what their identity is. Being a leader, instead of a follower, grounds our kid’s belief in the person God created, and continues to create them to be. This goes with many of the above tips, but making sure the task involves leading a sibling or other children in a humble way, not lording over them, helps our children to imitate our Lord and Savior more and more.
Practical example: give children a leadership assignment. For instance, make one of them in charge of making sure the table is set for dinner, by supervising the other siblings, or even visiting friends, to get this task done. He can hand out the plates, cutlery, napkins and so on, while lovingly, and patiently, teaching the younger ones how to set it up.
8- Teach the four C’s: communication, compromise, connection and compassion. These C’s of marriage we talked about a couple of weeks ago, work with our kiddies too. No one is a mindreader, so teach our children it is safe to communicate their hearts, respectfully, openly and honestly. Again, it is not about them, so they must learn to compromise for everyone’s mutual benefit. Connection with God and one another has to be taught because it does not come naturally to us fallen people. And compassion? It is vital if we are going to be the people God is calling us to be.
Practical example: volunteer at a soup kitchen or shelter and make sure our children are not only serving, but also talking to, working with and loving on others. Guide them to be mindful of the situations they encounter and help them use the skills of the four C’s above to be a blessing, and be blessed.
9- One more C word, commitment: if you start something, finish it. This helps our children know what is expected of them and what is unacceptable for them. Because they are Gods beloved, holy children too, they are meant to be excellent, not mediocre. Anyone can quickly get excited when starting a project, but too often lose their enthusiasm in the middle somewhere, and not actually achieve anything. Too many people live their lives this way, and never find the fulfillment they truly crave. Also, sometimes the best lesson is to, on purpose, find the joy in completing an assignment that we are not even enjoying. See the example below.
Practical example: Joshua joined a sports team at one point in his younger years, but did not enjoy it and quickly wanted out. But we would not allow him to quit, reminding him that he made a commitment to this team. We encouraged him instead to finish out the season, but informed him that, whether he chose to enjoy it or not, was up to him.
10- Some continual lessons: first, think about what you are thinking about because your thoughts will lead to actions and give you results one way or the other. Second, sowing and reaping is real, so pay attention to every choice you make because there will be consequences for every choice, good or bad, if not immediately, then eventually. And lastly but certainly not least, of course, I cannot end this without the most powerful lesson: pray without ceasing! Teaching our children to have a constant conversation going on with God will guide them and lead them in the path that they should go.
Practical example: Have children write out a simple dream they have and how they could achieve it. This makes them aware of the words they are thinking, helps them plan the seeds they are sowing, and leads them to results that they desire. Of course they should not do this task with the help of the Holy Spirit, so pray a simple prayer with them for His guidance before they start writing.
Life is all about learning and growing up. We must seek ways to participate in shaping our children, my Friends, because if we don’t, sadly, this corrupt world will! So here is my assignment for you this week: share a parenting tip that has been a blessing for your own family with someone else…and you can do this right now by leaving it in the comment section! I love sharing my journey with everyone. Sharing not only blesses others, but the truth it is, it leaves my life more fulfilling too. Want that? Then won’t you join me?
Until we meet again, keep lifting your eyes to God, He’s closer than you think.
<>< Peace, Diane
