What is the definition of marriage? Both in the Old Testament and the New, God defines marriage this way: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Gen 2:24 (also see Mt 19:5; Mk 10:7; Eph 5:31) Again, since God is the One Who designed marriage as He created Life, only He gets to say what a marriage looks like. Clearly here, God defines marriage as a man and a woman, who leave their childhood relationships behind, to make this sacred union a priority as they become one. Of course, the joke goes, its the “becoming one” that is so difficult! Yet, as both husband and wife learn to love the other more than they love themselves, a beautiful merging begins so that what one wants, the other already knows and seeks to fulfill and vice versa. Ok, that is what supposed to happen anyway. But I think the problem is that no one is ever taught God’s vision for marriage. No one, in and out of the Church, is ever explained how this “becoming one” supposed to happen.
Creating a healthy marriage must be each spouse’s first priority in life, even and especially after any children may come. The success or failure of this excellent endeavor, of course, centers on our maturity level. If “my” life is still only about “me” after I am married? Well, then we shouldn’t be surprised at the problems that kind of immature mentality brings. Both the husband and wife must understand that they must put the other person, they claim to love, before themselves. Listen, I am not claiming to be an expert here. Lord knows I still struggle with putting my hubby before me, yet the more I do research about God’s desire for marriage, the more peaceful my own gets as I implement my part in this sacred union. The truth is both myself and my hubby, Joe, are imperfect people, but by God’s Grace, we are perfect for each other! And together, we serve God’s purpose for marriage, more and more.
<>< Peace, Diane